Can you Return to the Faith if You Used to Believe, but Fell Away?

Question:

Is it true that if you once lived as a faithful Christian, but fell from Gods grace, there is no point trying to come back to God? Some from a group of Christians told me, there is no returning, based on this Bible passage: Hebrews 6:4-6.

Answer:

If a person has fallen away, and they desire to repent and return to the Lord, they most certainly can. God will not turn them away. This principle, that God will accept those who were once part of the faith, but have gotten lost from it, back to the faith, is a fundamental to many of Jesus' teachings.

Just a few examples are:

1) Jesus Himself will seek those who used to be part of the flock, and have wandered away.

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off." (Matthew 18:12-13)

2) The prodigal son is accepted back to his home with open arms, joy and celebration. The son who left clearly used to be part of the family, and was returning home to his family. (Luke 15:11-32)

3) Peter was a fervent and passionate follower of Jesus, yet openly and publicly denied Him in the strongest terms possible (Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, "I don't know the man!" Immediately a rooster crowed. - Matthew 26:74), and yet, was welcomed back into the faith after he repented by none other than Jesus Himself. This, despite the fact that the scripture says,

"If we deny him, he also will deny us." (2 Timothy 2:12b KJV)

4) If someone who used to believe wanders away from the Truth, we should seek to bring them back to save them from death.

My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5:19-20)

So what about the passage in Hebrews, that appears to say you cannot come back once you fall away? This question came with the verse quoted in the King James Version, so here is that verse from the KJV:

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. (Hebrews 6:4-6 KJV)

One of the problems with interpreting this to be a "once for all" proclamation is, as demonstrated above, it doesn't line up with the clear teaching in the rest of scripture about falling away and returning, but there is another problem: the tenses in the Greek don't support how this verse is often translated.

First, the verb ἀνακαινίζω (to renew, to restore) is in the Present Infinitive, which indicates continuous, repetitive action. Thus, it should read "to be continuously renewing them over and over again into repentence." The Greek infinitive is not used to express time, but aspect, and the Present Infinitive indicates that something is ongoing or repetitive, while the Aorist Infinitive indicates that something occurred once, or has a definitive beginning and end. For example:

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34)

"Follow me" is a Present Infinitive, and doesn't indicate that they need to follow Him once to the specific place He happened to be going at that moment, but that they need to follow Him in an ongoing fashion, for the rest of their life.

Contrast this with the Aorist Infinitive:

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." (Luke 19:5)

Here, the verb "stay" (the Greek literally says, "it is necessary for me to stay at your house...") is an Aorist Infinitive, indicating that Jesus was going to visit Zacchaeus' house one time, not take up residence there for an extended period of time.

So the first thing we need to notice is that this is not forbidding someone from returning to the Lord after having left, but rather, indicates that the problem is if they are continuously falling away and returning and then falling away and returning, on and on, as that is not true repentance. 

Further, the participle (ανασταυρουντας - recrucifying) following that indicates the ongoing state they are in, "continually recrucifying the Son of God..."

A far more accurate translation of this passage is found in the International Standard Version (ISV), which was just released in electronic form in 2013, and is not expected to be released in printed form until this year. You can find out more about the ISV, including how to download it to your computer, phone or other electronic device, here.

For it is impossible to keep on restoring to repentance time and again people who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have become partners with the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of God's word and the powers of the coming age, and who have fallen away, as long as they continue to crucify the Son of God to their own detriment by exposing him to public ridicule. (Hebrews 6:4-6)

In other words, if a person is not sincere in their desire to repent and follow Christ with their whole heart, a habit of constantly wandering in and out of the faith is a hypocritical lifestyle that subjects Jesus to public ridicule. This is the person who tries to join the faith for a while, then leaves it when it gets inconvenient; he rejoins later, then leaves again, then decides to come back, only to get bored and leave the faith again, and so on. That is not a struggling believer, nor is it a person who left once, and has, like the prodigal son, changed their mind and now wishes to return. This is a person who is unstable in their faith, with no real ongoing desire to serve Jesus, and frankly, probably only comes back when it is convenient (and then, only for a while), which is a completely different situation. This kind of person never fully repents and surrenders to Jesus.

This is NOT the same as a sincere follower who commits sins. We do not lose our salvation each and every time we sin. Nor is it a reference to the sincere follower who is struggling to overcome one particular sin (such as anger, or alcoholism). This person does not leave the faith each time they sin, but is immediately remorseful, as Peter was when Jesus looked at him, and he realized what he had just done.

But Peter said, "Mister, I don't know what you're talking about!" Just then, while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed. Then the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word from the Lord, and how he had told him, "Before a rooster crows today, you will deny me three times." So he went outside and cried bitterly. (Luke 22:60-62)

If you used to attend, and then, for whatever reason, left the faith, but you want to return, the door is still open. Jesus will still greet you with open arms, and we will all rejoice with you at your return to the family. By all means, come back.

And may I be the first to say, "Welcome home."

Is Hell Real?

Question:

I have a hard time believing that a loving God would condemn people to hell forever. I recently read, "Love Wins" by Rob Bell, and I like what he says a lot more. Isn't it true that it is much more loving and likely that everyone will end up getting saved in the end?

Answer:

Let me start by saying, unequivocally, that I do not like the doctrine of hell. There is nothing about it that I like, and if it were just up to me, I'd ditch that doctrine in a heart beat. But that is not the purpose of this blog. I'm not doing this to tell you what I like, or what I want to be true, but to explain to the best of my ability what the Bible actually teaches. As such, I will always endeavor, given the medium of a blog and the expectations of length within this medium, to cover the entire issue.

Rob Bell is an exceptional communicator who often takes the position that the historical scope of acceptable Christian doctrine is much wider than that which we in the twentieth century call "orthodox" Christianity." The problem with his approach is that he rarely places these "alternative views" in their proper historical context, and tends to leave the impression that many of these fringe doctrines were widely accepted, and rather common place. His unspoken, but clear inference is that these "alternative views," by virtue of having popped up periodically throughout the history of Christianity, are therefore equally valid as any orthodox view held today.

The truth is that throughout the history of Christianity, one can find examples of almost every imaginable variation of virtually every Christian doctrine, but very few of these fringe ideas were ever accepted or believed by more than a hand full of people, and almost without exception, they were immediately refuted by men very well versed in the Word. Some of them, such as Arianism (the idea that Jesus is not eternal, is a created being, and is not equal to the Father), were given the opportunity to present their case before the entire church. Most of them, however, were either refuted so quickly by learned scholars of the Word that there was no need to bring them before the church, or they stood on so little to begin with that they simply died from sheer neglect.

One of these fringe views is the Christian Universalist position. There are a couple variants on this, but all of them tend to share in one idea: that after death, everyone will get a second chance at salvation, so no one will end up in hell forever. The first recorded proponent of this idea was Origen, who lived from 185 - 254 AD. His views tended to change over time, but he did indicate at one point that he believed everyone would eventually be saved. This idea disappeared within a hundred years of his death, and didn't really appear again until the nineteenth century.

This is the view that Rob Bell is proposing in his book, "Love Wins."

On the surface, there appears to be some Biblical support for the idea that every single person on the planet will be saved. For example:

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:6-11 NIV)

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him. (1 Corinthians 15:20-23 NIV)

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19 NIV)

For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. (Colossians 1:19-20)

This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. (1Timothy 2:3-4)

Rob Bell's reasoning on this last verse is simply, "If God wants something, does He get it?" His answer is, of course, that God always gets what God wants, therefore all men will be saved. The truth is that there are lots of things that God wants that scripture clearly indicates He does not get. Not because He cannot get it, but because He is serious about free will. The biggest and most obvious is that God never wanted man to sin in the first place, but Adam and Eve did anyway.

On the surface, these passages seem to present a compelling case that through Jesus, every single man, woman and child on the planet will be saved.

The problem is that scripture is filled with passages, even within these same letters, that place them in a completely different light. For example, the first passage from Philippians is actually a quotation from Isaiah, which reads:

I have sworn by Myself, The word has gone forth from My mouth in righteousness And will not turn back, that before me every knee will bow; by me every tongue will swear. They will say of me, 'In the LORD alone are righteousness and strength.' All who have raged against him will come to him and be put to shame. (Isaiah 45:23-24)

Not only that, but earlier in Philippians, Paul said:

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. (Philippians 1:27-28)

And later in the same letter, he says:

For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. (Philippians 3:18-19)

There is a lot more, but I don't really have the space to cover all of it here. The point is that when read in context, it becomes clear that Paul is NOT using these terms universally, the assumption at every point is that not everyone will be saved, and whenever he says "all men," the context makes it clear he means, "all who believe."

OK, but Rob Bell kind of indicated that after death, everyone would get a second chance to repent and believe, and at this time, love would win, and everyone would become believers.

Yes, Rob Bell does imply that this will happen. The following are all the passages in scripture upon which this doctrine is based:

None.

Unfortunately, there are zero passages in the Bible that indicate people will get a second chance after death to believe. Rob Bell, and anyone else who wants to believe it, has made it up out of wishful thinking and thin air.

So what does the Bible actually say about hell? Ironically, Jesus talks about hell far more than almost anyone else in the Bible. Here is a quick sampling:

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' "He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." (Matthew 25:41-46)

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matthew 5:22)

"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. "The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.' "But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.' "He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.' "Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.' "'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.' "He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'" (Luke 16:19-31)

But the most frightening passages of all are from Revelation (the full name of this book, given in the very first line, is actually, "The Revelation of Jesus Christ").

A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice: "If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink of the wine of God's fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. He will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment rises for ever and ever. There is no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and his image, or for anyone who receives the mark of his name." (Revelation 14:9-11)

And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever. Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. (Revelation 20:10-15)

Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." (Revelation 21:6-8)

So that's it. Everyone who doesn't believe goes to hell? Hitler gets the same punishment as Gandi (who did not believe in Jesus)?

Well, actually, that is not as clear cut as it might seem. While it is in no way certain, there are passages in scripture that seem to imply that while all unbelievers are punished forever, and all of that punishment is very, very bad, it is not all exactly the same. Let me stress here that this is at most just an implied doctrine, it is never explicitly stated outright, and is in no way certain. Plus, even if it is true, even the lightest of punishments will be very, very bad. 

In this passage Jesus seems to indicate that the punishment of some will be greater than that of others (some are beaten heavily, some are beaten lightly, while some are killed and cut up):

The Lord answered, "Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! (Luke 12:42-49)

Again, this next passage Jesus seems to imply that the punishment for some will be "more bearable" than for others.

"Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted up to the skies? No, you will go down to the depths. If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you." (Matthew 11:21-24)

In this passage, Paul indicates that some will face "more wrath" than others on the day of judgment, and applies the principle of a person receiving rewards beyond salvation or punishment beyond condemnation in accordance with what he has done.

But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God "will give to each person according to what he has done." To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism. All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.) (Romans 2:5-15 NIV)

The bottom line is that there is no getting around the teaching of hell in the Bible. And taking the position that we reject God because many will be condemned to hell is the worst kind of stupid. There are no protest marches in hell, and no way to mount political pressure on God to get Him to change His decisions. If hell is real, it doesn't matter if you like the doctrine or not, if you reject God for any reason, hell will become your reality. The determination should not be, "do I like this," but simply, "is it true"?

Personally, I tend to go with the guy who said He would raise Himself from the dead, then did it. I'm going to believe him. So yes, it is true.

Now what are you going to do about that?

Is it True that Christians Should not Judge?

Question:

I've always heard that Jesus said, "Judge not," but I heard a guy on TV say that was not true, that Christians are commanded to judge others. Do you know which one is right?

Answer:

Both are right.

Once again, in order to understand this answer, we need to define our terms. There are no less than FIVE different meanings for "judge" in the Bible.

First Definition: to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises; to determine or declare after consideration or deliberation, to carefully evaluate based on available facts. To Figure out. To Evaluate.

This is allowed!

Then Jesus told the crowds, "When you see a cloud coming in the west, you immediately say, 'There's going to be a storm,' and that's what happens. When you see a south wind blowing, you say, 'It's going to be hot,' and so it is. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky, yet you don't know how to interpret the present time? Why don't you judge for yourselves what is right? (Luke 12:54-57)

Second Definition: To hear and decide on in a court of law; try: to make a judgment in a legal case. 

This is allowed!

"Then the other servant came and said, 'Sir, look! Here's your coin. I've kept it in a cloth for safekeeping because I was afraid of you. You are a hard man. You withdraw what you didn't deposit and harvest what you didn't plant.' The king told him, 'I will judge you by your own words, you evil servant! You knew, did you, that I was a hard man, and that I withdraw what I didn't deposit and harvest what I didn't plant? Then why didn't you put my money in the bank? When I returned, I could have collected it with interest.' (Luke 19:20-23)

Third Definition: to form an opinion or make an assumption, particularly a quick judgment without examining all the fact; a snap judgment; often: to form a negative opinion about based on incomplete information ( i.e. “You shouldn't judge him because of his clothing.”) 

This is NOT allowed!

Moses gave you the Law, didn't he? Yet none of you is keeping the Law. Why are you trying to kill me?" The crowd answered, "You have a demon! Who is trying to kill you?" Jesus answered them, "I performed one action, and all of you are astonished. Moses gave you circumcision—not that it is from Moses, but from the Patriarchs—and so you circumcise a man on the Sabbath. If a man receives circumcision on the Sabbath so that the Law of Moses may not be broken, are you angry with me because I made a man perfectly well on the Sabbath? Stop judging by appearances, but judge with righteous judgment!" (John 7:19-24)

This one is simply, make sure you have all the facts before you come to any kind of conclusion. Be fair, give the benefit of the doubt, and treat them like you would want to be treated if you were in their situation.

Fourth Definition: To pass sentence on; condemn

This is NOT allowed!

Therefore, let no one judge you in matters of food and drink or with respect to a festival, a New Moon, or Sabbath days. (Colossians 2:16)

Do not criticize each other, brothers. Whoever makes it his habit to criticize his brother or to judge his brother is judging the Law and condemning the Law. But if you condemn the Law, you are not a practicer of the Law but its judge. (James 4:11)

Fifth Definition: To govern; rule. Used of an ancient Israelite leader.

This is allowed!

Then I saw thrones, and those who sat on them were given authority to judge. I also saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony about Jesus and because of the word of God. They had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or hands. They came back to life and ruled with the Messiah for a thousand years. (Revelation 20:4)

Samson judged Israel for twenty years during the Philistine domination. (Judges 15:20)

But even when we do the kind of judging that IS allowed, we need to keep the following in mind at all times.

Deal with our own stuff first!

DO NOT address someone else’s sin if you are struggling with a particular sin yourself.

Therefore, you have no excuse—every one of you who judges. For when you pass judgment on another person, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, practice the very same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who act like this is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on those who practice these things and then do them yourself, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or are you unaware of his rich kindness, forbearance, and patience, that it is God's kindness that is leading you to repent? But because of your stubborn and unrepentant heart you are reserving wrath for yourself on the day of wrath, when God's righteous judgment will be revealed. For he will repay everyone according to what that person has done: eternal life to those who strive for glory, honor, and immortality by patiently doing good; but wrath and fury for those who in their selfish pride refuse to believe the truth and practice wickedness instead. (Romans 2:1-8)

Do not judge things that God has not clearly spoken on!

God actually allows us to have our own convictions on things, and to have differing opinions from others on issues. Be careful not to get dogmatic on things that God has NOT explicitly addressed. It is OK for others to have convictions or opinions on things that differ from you, particularly on those things that do not relate to the critical, core doctrines of Christianity. Getting in loud, hostile arguments about end times issues, the rapture, worship styles, Bible translation, which denomination is right, and a host of other peripheral issues should not happen among believers. It is OK to discuss or debate differences, but do it with honor and respect.

Accept anyone who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of arguing over differences of opinion. One person believes that he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. The person who eats any kind of food must not ridicule the person who does not eat them, and the person who does not eat certain foods must not criticize the person who eats them, for God has accepted him. Who are you to criticize someone else's servant? He stands or falls before his own Lord—and stand he will, because the Lord makes him stand. One person decides in favor of one day over another, while another person decides that all days are the same. Let each one be fully convinced in his own mind: The one who observes a special day, observes it to honor the Lord. The one who eats, eats to honor the Lord, since he gives thanks to God. And the one who does not eat, refrains from eating to honor the Lord; yet he, too, gives thanks to God. (Romans 14:1-6)

Do not judge non-believers by Christian standards! 

I wrote to you in my letter to stop associating with people who are sexually immoral— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, greedy, robbers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you to stop associating with any so-called brother if he is sexually immoral, greedy, an idolater, a slanderer, a drunk, or a robber. You must even stop eating with someone like that. After all, is it my business to judge outsiders? You are to judge those who are in the community, aren't you? God will judge outsiders.  (1 Corinthians 5:9-13)

This means coming to a conclusion about something that someone has done (they lied to me), and even allowing them to face the consequences of that behavior (I do not trust them any more) is NOT the same as condemning them (verbally or socially harassing, humiliating, or injuring them) for that action. For example, I am allowed to recognize that my neighbors are living together without being married, and that is a sin. I am even allowed to let them know that I cannot allow them to sleep in the same room together in my house. 

I am not allowed to call them names, ridicule them for their actions, go on TV and humiliate them, or in any way harass them because they are not living according to a standard they do not recognize or accept. If the topic comes up in conversation with them directly, I will explain to them what God has to say on the matter, including that it is wrong and why God doesn't want them to do it (even including an explanation that God's laws are designed to protect us form harm and liberate us from bondage to sin). In other words, I will witness to them.

But even then, I am not going to call them names or condemn them. No one comes to God because we say mean and hateful things to them. I will continue to love them unconditionally, even as they know I do not approve of their behavior, because they just might come to God if we tell them the Truth in a way that makes it clear we are doing it because we care about them, and we will continue to care about them, even if they continue to do things that are actually bringing them harm.

THIS is real tolerance. Treating people with kindness and courtesy despite disagreeing with them. That does NOT mean I endorse, support or excuse their behavior. I disagree without being disagreeable.

Here is the side of jugding that is not always widely discussed:

We MUST judge the following:

Spiritual leaders (evaluate and protect – be a watchman)

Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. (Matthew 7:15-20)

Dear friends, stop believing every spirit. Instead, test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize God's Spirit: Every spirit who acknowledges that Jesus the Messiah has become human—and remains so—is from God. But every spirit who does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist. You have heard that he is coming, and now he is already in the world. (1 John 4:1-3)

Theological Truth (evaluate, correct and protect)

But even if we or an angel from heaven should proclaim to you a gospel contrary to what we proclaimed to you, let that person be condemned! What we have told you in the past I am now telling you again: If anyone proclaims to you a gospel contrary to what you received, let that person be condemned! (Galatians 1:8-9)

Fellow believers (discern and restore)

If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of him. Have nothing to do with him so that he will feel ashamed. Yet, don't treat him like an enemy, but warn him like a brother. (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15)

And, of course, we must always do the following:

Judge with grace!

Do not have anything to do with foolish and stupid discussions, because you know they breed arguments. A servant of the Lord must not argue. Instead, he must be kind to everyone, teachable, willing to suffer wrong, and gentle when refuting opponents. After all, maybe God will allow them to repent and to come to a full knowledge of the truth, so that they might escape from the devil's snare, even though they've been held captive by him to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:23-26)

So you absolutely CAN evaluate and draw conclusions about people, situations, and actions. If those actions directly impact your life, you can take appropriate action.  You cannot condemn people for failing, call them names, ridicule them, or in any way harass them. When dealing with unbelievers, it is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, produce guilt, and bring to repentance.

You are allowed to go to a fellow believer and talk to them about something they have done, particularly to bring them to repentance, but make sure you have ALL THE FACTS before you do. Don't charge in condemning them, but get all the facts, and talk to them about what they have done like responsible adults. If they have harmed you personally, follow the guidelines in scripture for dealing with the situation, always being ready and quick to forgive.

It is our job to deliver Truth with love and grace, to be compassionate, forgiving, and kind, and to reflect the character of our God at all times with all people. 

First and foremost, we are supposed to be known by our love and compassion for all, for loving what is good, and for our blameless devotion to our God.